Deep Breaths

All right... better now.

Yesterday, I was in a bad place, mentally, and it was a bad day to blog, or apparently, do much of anything.

My ire remains to a degree, even though some of the 'offenders' are good people and friends of mine, but there is a level of courtesy that was just fully disregarded, and I want to insincerely thank all those people for fucking up my Saturday so thoroughly that I didn't get a damn thing done. I'm going to have to become a defensive alcoholic because had I gone out Friday night and gotten hammered, I'd have staggered home at 2 am, fallen into sweet ethanol induced slumber and NOTHING would have gotten me up, thus I'd have spent the first few hours of Saturday with a bit of a headache and otherwise had a productive day.

Instead, I was pretty much up all night, thus screwing Saturday for me, since the powder puff football game in the quad also had music (and alcohol; thanks again, school) thus couldn't sleep then, and every time I started trying to focus on studying, I started crying. Wahoo.

To warn incoming students or first term students who haven't gotten to this point, yesterday commemorated my first celebratory "screw this; I want to go home" moments. No matter how much you love it here (and I actually do), I suspect most people will reach this point, probably many times, during their stay because you just reach a place where you feel negative, down, and you want things back the way they were, even if the way they were sucked (like being stuck in a dead end, temporary, cubicle enclosed technical writing hell, though I liked the other aspects of my life). I think this is more med school than Caribbean, but the far from home aspect (unless you're from here, of course), can make things worse. And different stimuli sparks it. I have a very high tolerance for slow service and such, but I've seen that drive some people to a similar state where things snowball.

So be advised. But I'm back to liking it here. Sleep deprivation combined with anger does strange things to me.

On the downside, my father's been in the hospital recently, and I've been worried about him, not due at ALL to the fact that he's been smoking since Sir Walter Raleigh discovered tobacco in the States (right, history people?) (just kidding, dad!!), and at first they thought it was TB (which meant I was going to have to get tested) and then it wasn't, etc etc, but now it turns out, some form of necrotic pneumonia so he's been getting to cough up ACTUAL pieces of his lung. Yummy. But he got out of the hospital, so that's really cool, and I chewed his ear for a while after he got out, because after a stint in the hospital, I find that people love hearing all about *my* problems being stuck in a tropical paradise to pursue a medical degree but baby didn't get enough sleep, causing her to be a mite manic depressive.

Ah well.

I'd also like to thank these bitches for drastically improving my day yesterday. You see, I couldn't focus on studying AT ALL because I was so tired, and couldn't sleep, so I ended up reading this website called "Smart bitches who love trashy novels" in which they make so much fun of horrid romance novel covers in such a creative way that they had me shaking with non manic laughter every time I gave up the books and went to their website. So high level recommendations for that website, particularly for those of you who are so stressed you can't see straight. And no, you don't have to like romance novels. To me, it's funnier if you don't (which I don't).

Yesterday evening, I secured some surprisingly good chicken tenders and spicy fries from Glover's and ran into Lori, Emma, and Emma's sister (whose name I don't remember, but she's awesome) who were busy trying to secure a pizza from Evil Glover's Lady whose efforts to reduce them to stone with her... uh... stony glare were fortunately unsuccessful. They helped pick up my spirits with some pick up basketball in which we all discovered that we suck painfully at it. Being women, this luckily did NOT lead to being teased off the court because the boys make allowances for women to be bad at sports. Hooray for gender typing!

After my chat with dad, I crashed and burned, earplugs in, and woke up after about 11 hours. Ahhh, bliss. Yes, it put me a bit late in the day, but sweet Random Chance, did I ever need it. So I've been getting my biochem study on like mad today, and damned if I am not so down with glycolysis and the TCA cycle now (yes, I went BACK to review it, lest any first termers remind me that being down with the TCA cycle puts me a week and a half behind). Thanks again, Lippincott. I'm planning on wet lab tonight, since my knowledge of the viscera could use some work.