Feb 24, 2011

Official ROL Due Date

Medical school is full of all sorts of little pseudo holidays, particularly at this time of year, since short of Valentine's Day and Presidents Day (ew and snore, respectively) we're lacking on real holidays.

As of February 23rd, at 9 PM EST, our rank order lists were due, as are the rank lists of the programs. This means that everything is now in the hands of a computer algorithm and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Spooky, but also removes the stress of reordering your list every ten minutes because you had a beignet craving at 11 PM and thought "Maybe that New Orleans program wasn't so bad", and then you panicked and changed it back.

March 14: find out if you have a job day
March 15 and 16th: Scramble days. This is a holiday the way a Christmas Eve where your wife leaves with your best friend, taking the kids and the dog with her is a holiday.
March 17: Match Day. Find out WHERE you have a job day. Incidentally, St. Patrick's Day. Incidentally, probably going to be "Stomach pumped" day.

Good luck everyone!!!!

Feb 16, 2011


Dear Program Directors,

While it's always good to send out your rejections early, as well as keeping some 'rejections on hold' because you never know when someone's going to cancel an interview and you're forced to send out an invite to your back up island-students, sending out rejection letters mid February is something of a... well, let me put this professionally, a "dick move", if you will.

If you haven't contacted me by January 31st, way before that actually, even if you have not *formally* rejected me, I have long since accepted that you're probably not going to interview me past the date that some programs are sending in their rank lists. I'm cool with that. While having a formal "hell no" email, or in UCSF's case a written "OH hell no" letter is always nice, a void on the other end of my computer is already a good indication that you do not wish to be graced with my dengue-soaked presence. Noooo problemo.

But why send out the noreply email via ERAS? They don't even have a subject line at this point.

Let me point out the converse side... there are some interviews I didn't take because I got a good initial response and the programs were too far away.

Now these guys may have sent an invite back in early December... now picture a student NOW emailing them going "Dear ________, gee whiz, I got so many interviews that I can't interview with your program, but I wish you the best of luck finding good students on Match Day."

Douchey, right?

Feb 13, 2011

Apologies to the MTA

Only for the stuff I was saying about them today. That whole part where they jacked up the unlimited pass price by twenty dollars while continuing to cut service? Drastically uncool.

So here's a thing... I was going out to Jersey today to meet some friends to brew beer, because the interview season was so frigging exhausting that I have to start making my own hooch (I'm not adding centipedes to it like the moonshine in Grenada)... We're supposed to catch a train out of Penn Station at 10:11.

900: Home station closed because f- you, that's why.
900 - 915: Walk to next station
920: Board 2 train.
930: Why aren't we moving?
935: No seriously, why the f- aren't we moving?
936: Attention passengers. This train is being held due to a police investigation at Times Square. Atlantic Avenue is the last stop on this train. All passengers leave the train.
936-937: WTF? What police investigation? If this is someone leaving a GD Macy's bag under a GD bench and that sets off a GD bomb scare, I'm ballisticizing on someone. Why is stuff at Times Square sufficient to shut down service in Brooklyn?
938: Let's take the Q train!
939: Q train closes door in face; takes off.
939: *&(*&(*&#)&(*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
950: Q train arrives. Maybe we can still make it.
952: Q train running local. Profanity ensues.
1010: Let's get off at WTC and take the PATH train.
1015: Due to track work, the PATH train is running on a 20 minute schedule. Please plan extra travel time.

We made it, thanks to the willingness of one of our benevolent Jersey-side drivers to be willing to book it to Newark to pick us up, but naturally the 2 hours it took to make what would have normally been a 45 minute trip led to my attempting to think of any service that regularly ticked me off more than the public transit. Possibly whoever was responsible for clearing the roads after the Boxing Day blizzard.

While we were on the way out to the brewery, we were googling any possible justification for shutting off access to some of the busiest train stations in the world, and came across the early breaking version of this:

Suspect in Brooklyn Stabbing Spree Is Captured

So apparently, we couldn't take the train going uptown because while we were sitting on our train, they were taking down a guy that was, among many many many *many* other things, stabbing train patrons.

Okay, MTA. Good call.

Feb 1, 2011

No more interviews for me!!!

As of setting foot off the R from the N from the M60 from Laguardia, I am officially DONEZO with interviews. I can actually unpack the carry on bag (f- you, airlines, and your 25 dollar check bag fees for something you're gonna lose anyway) that's been always at a state of ready in the center of my room. I've made it through countless hotels still bedbug free. I have told literally dozens of people what I want to be when I grow up, why I want their specific programs, whether I'm an only child (???), and what my five year plan is.

Weirdly, I've seen more dead bodies than I have in years. What do you do on your job interviews?

I have bounced enough climates to be perpetually congested. I've given the Alamo in Union Square more money than an actual car payment would have cost. I have walked through more hospitals than the casts of ER, House, Grey's Anatomy, and Scrubs combined. I have consumed 50 thousand calories worth of free lunches. I've shaken more hands than a politician. I have rocked my black suit and used it to get my way at cheap hotels because it gives me a fake businesswoman street-cred. I have changed in the public restrooms of said hotels into beaten up jeans and strutted on the way out.

Since I'm a procrastinatey McProcrasterton, I finally submitted my final four week schedule, which will complete my 80 weeks of rotations, which finalizes my schedule and means that so long as I don't kill anyone in the next eight weeks, I'm solid gold.

Hell yeah.