Feb 26, 2007

You know midterms are coming when...

1. You do your most intense workout ever on the elliptical because you were so engrossed in your Netter anatomy atlas that you didn't notice how much you'd upped the intensity and the pain in your legs couldn't possibly overwhelm the pain in your head.

2. The guy on the elliptical next to you is too engrossed in his biochem notes to notice your Netter atlas.

3. The girl on the treadmill next to him is too engrossed in her anatomy lecture slides to notice his biochem notes or your Netter Atlas.

(Alas, as seen in the "Get your study on!" video, we have not stooped to playing ping pong while studying YET. I've heard that'll happen for finals. In 4th term, you actually have to study while sleeping. Subliminal tapes?)

4. For scheduled lectures on new material, the lecture hall contains one half of the people generally there, which means anatomy lectures now have approximately 150 people and histology lectures have approximately 10.

5. For lectures scheduled as "Midterm Review" or "Integrative", the lecture hall is so crammed with people, most of whom you've never seen before, that there's spillage into the street with scalpers outside selling front row tickets.

6. Announcements like "blood cells will not be on the practical" and "eye/ear won't be anywhere on the midterm" are met with the sort of roaring applause you'd usually find during a Dylan encore. Girls may or may not begin throwing panties toward the podium.

7. It is not uncommon to see people spontaneously burst out crying in the halls.

8. Bananas sits forlorn and empty, the beer growing warm and flat in waiting, the waitstaff unable to feed their families, the koi floating belly up in the pond from a lack of drunk students to feed them fish chow.

9. You come back from lecture to find your roommate fast asleep at her desk, still clutching her highlighter.

10. The grocery store at Spiceland Mall remains well-stocked throughout the week. Meanwhile, you watch students study as they eat their baked beans and plantain sandwiches.

11. The campus store has to hire extra security to keep crazed, desperate students from looting their supply of Red Bull at 3 in the morning.

12. A debate over whether a direct inguinal hernia occurs medially or laterally to the epigastric vessels nearly ends in a fist fight.

13. The only thing that gets you through each passing day is promising yourself a beer for every two hours you study. You figure at this rate, you'll be up to alcohol poisoning before the end of the week. Thinking about getting drunk makes you remember that both alcohol AND aldehyde dehydrogenases are the enzymes of ethanol metabolism, and the fact that you know that makes you want to hang yourself.

14. You assure your friends that you won't hang yourself until AFTER the results come back.

15. You yearn for the days when you can go to the beach on vacation... despite the fact that the beach is a ten minute bus ride from your front door.

Come on now, anyone can play!

2 comments:

Saora1 said...

I don't wanna play cause I don't have any midterms again. EVER!!!!!!!!!

*does The Macho Man, Randy Savage impression* "Oh yeah!"

But that was damned funny. You should post that on VMD. lol

Good luck next week.

Actually, I can add one. My brain is so fried from studying for the boards that I replied to an e-mail from my g/f that I'd already written a response to not two days prior. Hmmn, maybe I should leave my celebrating about no midterms until 5 p.m. EST on March 14th, 2007...

Ishie said...

Freaking hell man... March 14th? Gads, that's the midterm to end all midterms; the shiznitz, the.. blahhh...

You should do a "You know the boards are approaching when..." I think it would be more intense.

I have the email trouble, but with the way I use yahoo, it has a little arrow next to the things I've responded to so I can go "oh, right..."

Good luck on the boards, man!!!!!!! And thank you for reading! I might post it on vmd...