Finally!

Finished my first pass at biochem!



As many of you may know, biochem has been the beast that's haunted me since I got into medical school and snapped on my alpha 1 receptors so completely that I thought I was going to have a stroke. After sacrificing all of embryo and half of anatomy to it in first term, plus the entirety of my first summer, I figured it'd just be a few days to get it all back into my head since I'd gone over it so thoroughly, leaving me more time for pharm, which I didn't bother to be too freaked out about since it was last term and I had senioritis, which translates to me knowing way less about drugs than a run-of-the-mill crackhead

So twelve days later...

In my defense, we had that whole country-changing, finally got an articulate man in office, tear-up, comin' back to America, history-making presidential thing, so after promising myself I'd only watch the meat of it as a compromise (similar to what I promised myself on election night with similar consequences) and instead stayed glued to the tv for two days and made up for my truancy by doing about twenty-five minutes of videos.

Wedged around that though, I've actually been studying my ass off, glued to my desk, recreation consisting of an episode of Scrubs in the evening to help me as I go to sleep, a once-a-week House episode (both count as studying) and occasional Daily Shows when I'm willing to watch them while on a fitness glider thing.

All this productivity makes me feel ill... no beach, no sangria, no boyfriend, no walks to the point.

Oh, though it freaking snowed on inauguration day. Which is completely awesome, particularly since I'm in an area that never gets snow.

In celebration of the end of biochem, and a gradual discomfort that I was avoiding taking the first NBME practice exam because I was worried about my study methods so far, since I'm kind of piecing together study techniques out of spare parts, I coughed up 45$ of money I don't have to take the NMBE, which bought me four hours of realizing I really need to learn what theophylline does (four questions! Something to do with asthma), and that for the time being, it projects me as being okay.

And I apparently overkilled in biochem. I got an asterisk and no bar in that one, which put me off the charts, yet dipped down to borderline in nutrition, a class I generally write off, don't study, and then predictably do badly in, yet remain surprised every time it happens. Probably because I still think arachidonic acid is a horror movie about spiders. That shoot acid out of their... uh... I'm not too up on spider anatomy either. Eyes. Let's go with eyes.

So now I'm onto embryo (after a post-NBME celebratory Warcraft hit; since I don't know anyone in New Bern, I drown my sorrows by murdering helpless cartoon animals), complete with finally breaking out the colored pencils and markers and doing a full scale mock up of the damned fetal circulation because I never really bothered to learn it and just decided to keep getting ductus venosus questions wrong since I figured no one in their right mind would ever trust me with a baby anyway. But now I know what a ductus venosus does!

Thank you, biochem

Never thought I'd say *those* words.

And yes, someone's procrastinating. Lotta blog posts, eh?

Though initially exceptionally disappointed to spend a good part of my summer memorizing the second half of biochem because I'm such a spaz, DAMN, am I glad of it now. I'm also glad for the work I did in histo (with Manlocks' help, of course) because there is some mystifying stuff that is only making sense in light of stuff I learned last term, and I don't mean "general stuff you should have conceptualized last term", I mean "piddling minutia that isn't adequately explained, so thank freaking heavens you actually remember it".

Thus, due in large part to biochemistry's unhealthy obsession with enzymes and the fun little things they do, I'm finding error after error in my gastrointestinal system notes, leading me to wonder if, on the exam, I put what I know to be *right* (and what was taught in biochem and histo) answer, or do I put the answers in the new physio lecture notes? Decisions decisions. And I'm pretty sure Intrinsic Factor isn't an exocrine secretion, but I've been wrong before.

For a little background, in physiology, we finished the cardiovascular lectures (which I thought were really good) and started with a new set of notes, a new lecturer, and a new set of potential midterm questions with GI tract.

So far, I'm not finding gastrointestinal that *hard* per se (cardiovascular was harder because this summer made me good at biochem but did nothing for my fifth grade understanding of physics and the CV system is just one big fluid dynamics nightmare taunting me in the voice of my high school physics teacher), but the lecture quality has dropped off, so I'm having to cross reference stuff that "seems wrong", because turns out, it is. Sigh.

But, turns out, all that biochem that seemed irrelevant actually is really important, and may save my butt, which is more important. It's also the only way I can remotely begin to understand immunology, and the parts I understand best are the ones that have an overlap in biochem or oddly enough, parasitology.

So though I haven't taken any exams and certainly have not been a paradigm of "success" this term, if I have any advice as of late (other than parroting my dad's "don't spin your wheels"), it's that so far the best help I've had in second term is understanding first term. Seems obvious, but there ya go.

Physics is helpful, apparently, but for the cardiovascular lectures, that awesome prof started with "I'm going to assume you all think the heart is something on the front of a valentine and go from there." Thank the gods.

I'm a second termer!!!!!

So, I'm a whole LOT happier now. My goodness, that in betwixt and between stage was unsettling to me, and now it's resolved.

It's about bedtime (early classes this term), so I'll have to fill in details later, but the short of it...

I got an "A" on the biochem exam, and a "B" in the class, thus, on my transcript, I have the same grade in anatomy that I do in biochem and I'm best at histo, a class about which I remember almost precisely nothing... No wonder residencies look at board scores instead of grades...

I thought the test was pretty hard, but it was apparently the same test the others took, including getting the same 5 questions thrown out, so that was cool...

One of the secretaries in the biochem office thinks I'm a complete freak now because she came out of the office just as I walked out of the other side of the office where I learned my score, and caught me mid "Holy crap I passed, I did well yee-haa whoopie" spastic dance...

I REGISTERED! I am now a REAL student of SGU and a second termer rather than a nonperson who can be disappeared at will. It means I have my frigging schedule at long last, since that was a particularly sore point with me.

I have my books, which, for the record, for all terms except first term, bring the receipt you're mailed at the end of the term when you order the books for next term, otherwise you may not get them until you do. I managed it thanks largely in part to a friend of mine who apparently was at the point today that I was at with Air Jamaica, and rode in on her coattails (without being mean; I used up my "Oh, that's IT!!!" rant to get my luggage back).

So all is well in the world, at least for the next few hours, and details on things like Carnival are coming.

Biochem tomorrow

So I finally get to conquer my demons and be done with them.

I feel really really well prepared for this exam, and I think I can say with confidence (which seems like an oxymoron) that I feel like if I can't pass the exam with the amount of work that I've done, practically no one could... not because I'm any kind of genius, but just because I've worked SO hard, done so many flashcards, incorporated so many ideas, that I currently feel like if suddenly tests were put in front of me, I'd do a heck of a lot better in biochem than I would in anatomy, and hey, no embryo.

I still have the stomach jitters... no twitchy sleepless crying jag sorts of things but a general unwell, lightheaded nervous stomach that comes and goes, that I'm hoping gets knocked out permanently with the test tomorrow.

It's not simply a matter of whether I pass or fail or any of that; I simply don't LIKE feeling the stress sick. It's decidedly unpleasant regardless of the outcome, and I think by learning to get over it and deal with it, I'll be a lot happier in medical school and a lot happier in my future career as a doctor. But I think I'm okay, and I think I'll be okay. The fact that I've already slept the last two nights and have eaten perfectly regularly up to this point already puts me FAR ahead of the disastrous end to last term. I'm beating this bitch, one way or another.

I wasn't ballsy enough to do Carnival/Spicemas today because I needed flashcard review, but doing the Carnival parade yesterday (pictures pending) put me on much better terms with the island again, and I remembered that I actually do like this place quite a lot, and there's no other experience like it, and being terminally pissed off for the next year and a half, even when given fairly good reason, is a waste of energy. Anything can be either an amazing time, a learning experience, or a reason to appreciate what's ahead, or perhaps a combination of all of them, and though I know there's going to be times where I'm miserable, like I said above, I think I'm okay right now... I'll give more details on yesterday at a later date, because it's not really going with the flow of my thoughts right now, which are more in the direction of prostacyclin (keeps the blood cyclin'), due to the cards I've been studying.

I went to class this morning, registration restrictions be damned, and genetics doesn't seem like it'll be too bad (we did mitosis/meiosis today) and parasitology not only seems like a class that lends itself to flashcards, but seems fascinating, if disgusting. We do more in parasitology than most American medical schools, but considering I like weird things that do weird stuff, and am thinking in a Doctors without Borders direction, it seems highly relevant and pretty cool, so it doesn't bother me that we're taking it. I'm bummed that I have to miss tomorrow's classes to take the exam, since so far I like both instructors for the courses, but I've got friends backing me up, so it should be all good.

I'm going to pass the exam, and I'm going to finally be a *real* second termer, so that's saying something.

You're a doctor, right?

That was the question my neighbor asked me as I stood at the door, clad in faux silk maroon yoga pants and a Carib t-shirt. The only way I could have looked less like a doctor is if I'd had a freshly lit crack pipe hanging out of the corner of my mouth.

"No... I'm a medical student."

My neighbor, who is an incredibly nice woman, presents the sliver in her hand; I do my best to remove and irrigate it, swab the injured finger with an alcohol prep pad, and apply a bandaid. "You're so gentle!" she exclaims.

Ha! So I got a patient... of course, I was more qualified to remove a sliver from her finger by virtue of having been EMT certed, since foreign-object removal has not been covered in histology, anatomy, or biochem.

Does that count as practicing medicine without a license? I have a certificate. I have many certificates. None of them proclaim me to be a doctor, but I have them, and that's what's important.

People don't seem to quite know what to make of "medical student", and I'm wondering if this is a common problem. Most of the hospital personnel just assumes I have *way* more experience than I actually do, likely thinking I'm in my 3rd or 4th year medical rotations, unless, of course, the anesthesiologist drills me on basic anatomy in front of them. Heh heh.

Now, the assumption that I am a doctor, while really really strange, since I don't feel anywhere near that, bothers me the least because it makes me feel all big and important, though also scared to death because people want me to do stuff, like not be stupid. When it comes to pre-docs, a lot of people seem to think that once you enter medical school you... you know, know something. What they don't seem to realize is that trusting their health to someone with half a year of basic sciences is virtually identical to running up to a freshmen physiology major and asking them the same... But no. Med school equals doctor knowledge. Maybe still requiring a supervisor, but competent. And my perspective is "dude... I'm still afraid to TOUCH you for fear that in my new baby-not-a-doc roll, I may break something off, or worse, get yelled at by the kind surgeon who's agreed to babysit me for the summer... and I say the word 'dude'! Come on, now!"

What I do mind are the girl=nurse ones. Nursing is an admirable profession, but if a woman says "I'm going to medical school", especially when she adds "in the Caribbean" should not be an invitation to chirp "Oh! You're going to be a nurse???" No... because then I'd be going to *nursing* school, wouldn't I? That's why the names are different. And I feel that nagging feminism sensation rise up when I think "If I were a guy who said I was going to medical school, people would think 'doctor'"... and then I think "I'd better get used to that, because people will assume that I'm a nurse even ONCE I'm a doctor and some jackholes will even completely refuse to be treated by me and my evil ovaries, and then I will exploit the other direction of sexist assumptions and force them to buy me free drinks, fix my plumbing, and tune up my car."

And that makes me feel better, because if you haven't figured this out already, I'm enormously petty...

In other news, while microsomal cytochrome P450 liver enzymes may not be as boring as say, the stock exchange, cricket, or tournament golf, except for the part where tylenol kills alcoholics, it's pretty high on the list of "things that make Ishie go comatose".

Bed time!

More for you Inquisitive Incomings...

And why not? Things are going well in jolly old New England... which is actually accurate to me, since coming from California, everything in New England is old. Heh.

I'm shadowing an orthopedic surgeon, which is highly awesome, and I'm learning early what I already knew: love nurses. Generally, I trail after the orthopod like an obedient puppy except for when a nurse "pst's!" at me and jerks a head, at which point I go trotting off to observe something cool.

I've also discovered that you shouldn't wander around in the morning looking like you have nothing to do or you'll end up with your left arm in a cast. I chose the red color! What's particularly nice about a cast is that if you don't actually have anything wrong with your arm when casted, they're *great* to beat people with. Mwa ha. I had to cast my left arm, because my right arm was my "drinking coffee" arm, and there's no WAY anyone's putting a cast on it.

So basically, now I know the theory behind putting on a cast. Whether I could actually do such a thing on someone with a broken arm without getting punched remains another matter.

Critically though... I GOT HIGH SPEED BACK!!!!! Comcast FINALLY kept a promise as of two days ago, making that the sixth appointment they'd made since mid April when my mom first tried to get them. Oh, it's so beautiful. Not only that, the TELEVISION. So many channels!!!! Even all the music ones... the actual ones, not MTV or any of that. Combined with Netflix, I may not leave the couch save for the shadowing.

But you probably want to know more about SGU... I know I certainly did. All right, I mentioned my dorm room in Superdorm 1. I'm too lazy to repost pictures, so here's the link to the entry with them; just scroll to the end of my ramblings.

For computers, bring an ethernet cable with you. The campus has been fitted for wireless and you can get it at spots around campus like the library and study rooms but the dorms are made of concrete and not conducive to getting the signal into most of the rooms, so definitely have that cable with you if, like me, you really prefer studying in your own place. Not all the dorms have internet, but the school's working on it. I believe all the SUPERdorms do though, which is where they put the majority of first termers, and yes, you have to live on campus unless you have a significant other, a pet, or a really good excuse to a person having a good day.

Books and Classes:

You get your first term books on the island, they're included in your tuition, and there's nothing you can do it, speaking as someone who already had about 400 bucks worth of the term one books due to taking undergraduate anatomy. Doesn't matter. You get the booklist that you have. Good idea to bring a heavy duty bag to cart them too. When I got mine, they were distributing them nowhere NEAR my dorm, so I had to haul them.

Some of these are optional, but a brief idea:



And my workspace... this picture was taken AFTER finals, thus having Eddie Izzard paused on your laptop probably isn't the best use of study time...



I *highly* recommend the Netter flashcards. They go fast from the bookstore so it's worth bringing your own.

For your first term, you take Developmental Anatomy, which is 8 units consisting of 6 units of clinical/gross anatomy and 2 units of embryology, combining into a single grade. Many people cope with this by utterly ignoring embryo, and while I may have employed this tactic somewhat for the final, I wouldn't recommend it.

Tips... uhhh... study lymphatics... not because it's hard but because everyone tends to ignore them and it's a dumb way to lose points.

You take biochem for 6 units. This class is pretty damn hard and most students just tell you to "know everything". Particularly know what can go wrong and little tweaks of such information. I'm scared of anything involving the word "chemistry" and if you've been following this blog you know the results of it, but minus the sleep deprivation, I ended up liking a lot of the information in the class and felt really prepared for it. For those of you who, like me, got completely violated by organic chemistry, I didn't find biochem to be anything like it, but instead has some cool stuff about how the body deals with stuff. Oh, as far as tips, besides "knowing everything", know insulin/glucagon like the back of your hand. It will come up again and again and again, and just when you think you couldn't possibly need it anymore because it's on the midterm, it will come and bitchslap you in the second half of the class.

What really helped/helps me with biochem is understanding the logic for why things happen. There's a lot of pathway memorization too, but for some stuff (like insulin/glucagon), understanding it well enough means you can apply common sense.

Histology. 4 units. Don't make the mistake of neglecting it completely. The main problem with histo is that it goes SLOWLY. There are massive numbers of lecture slides and it takes forever to go through them, in my opinion, disproportionate to the units of the class, but thems the breaks. If you are lucky enough to get Saint Paparo as your head, he rules more than can be expressed. The big thing with histo too is that Dr. Paparo is probably the fairest instructor I've run across. There don't tend to be trick questions, and he's good about tossing questions he doesn't like.

Clinical Skills. This class carries over for two terms, and at least for me, you don't get a grade for this one, and I believe it's P/F. Patient interviews are worthwhile and you get some good informations. I consider the rest of the class to be a complete waste of time. Sorry. You will have arbitrarily scheduled labs just when you think you have a morning off. They will be at strange times and not weekly. Any time you feel like you have a couple days to chill or an afternoon or morning, you will have something with clinical skills come up and have to fire off a CV in the knick of time or "write" a personal statement (ie, copy the one you used for medical school).

What's also fun about clinical skills is how obtrusive they will be is determined by your last name. For instance, some of you may have something due when you're between everything and have nothing else going on. Others will have that same project due the Friday before midterms. Fun, eh? Just stay on top of it.

DES sessions. Some people SWEAR by them. I'm not a big group studying and tend to study by recopying the lecture slides and my notes. It's incredibly inefficient, but it works for me. Due to this method, I found DES sessions to be useless, but at least try some out and see how you like them.

Also, NEVER miss an exam review session. Just don't do it. Especially in histology. They're gold.

For each term, there are Macdaddies which tend to consist of tidbits from past terms which vary in usefulness. You shouldn't be paying for these, but should get them from upper termers, with footsteps buddies being a good primary resource.

Sorry!

I know; I know; no updates in forever... I promise I'll bring full up to speed soon, and someday finish the Adventures of the Ishie et al (sorry guys, but it is my blog, afterall) trip to Venezuela over Easter, but for the time being, I've been busy having a bloody awful week punctuated by goodness but not greatness.

So I've been neglecting histology and anatomy to get all ready for my biochem exam, which was Monday. Let me rephrase that. I was getting all ready for everyone ELSE'S biochem exam, which was Monday. I'll be taking the exam in August. Sigh.

See, at midterms, if you read back through my ramblings that far, you'd notice that I had a freakout insomnia attack and kind of blew through biochem, which apparently set me up for a rip-roaring insomnia-phobia to add to my phobia of cockroaches which was oh so crystallized the last time I went diving and found THREE of the evil little bastards in my dive bootie by unsuspectingly sticking my foot onto them (cockroaches, not insomnia).

So FULLY prepared for the biochem exam, I realized that while I would LIKE to study everything again that weekend, I didn't NEED to, thus could focus that entire weekend on simply getting some sleep so I'd be well rested for the exam.

Hey, whoda thought anyone could stay up for 72 hours??? That's gotta be some kind of record! With about 40 of those staggered between various dorm rooms lying still in the dark, going "you've gotta be freaking kidding me; I'm exhausted. How can I not be asleep yet?"

This was punctuated by finally making an emergency call to the clinic for sleep aids, which they dispensed, which did... nothing. Well, that's not true. It spaced me nicely so I wandered around in a mindless haze jabbering nonsense at people, but could I sleep? No. Which is good to know. If ever I am jumped in a dark alley by spies looking to drug me with ether or whatever to get me to betray my country, apparently I'm impossible to put out if my mind's against it.

On the final night of Hell, Emma lent me her single room, made me some rice and warm milk because I hadn't eaten anything in some time (I lost five pounds in 8 days folks; you think Atkins is bad for you; try the med school stress diet-- look thin, die young).

So I spent part of the night throwing up, which was a variation on a theme for the last few nights when I tried to eat things (Hey, involuntary bulemia, wahoo!) before trying to go to sleep. When Emma checked on me, I had psychosomaticized sleep crazed myself into sleeping for five minute segments, stopping breathing, convulsing, rinsing and repeating.

Which for some strange reason upset her. Largely because I couldn't stop spasming and kept forgetting to breathe.

So she called the ambulance to take me to the clinic, and the funny thing is, as they were checking my blood sugar, I was prepared enough for the biochem exam that I was muttering "I can't be hypoglycemic because my liver is replenishing my blood glucose with gluconeogenesis by breaking down my proteins". I can even name which amino acids it's doing and that it's using fatty acids grabbed from triacylglycerol from adipose tissue for fuel. If I starved myself for long enough, I'd start converting to ketone bodies (which can be used by the brain), and I can even tell you which hormones were at skewed levels and when they would stabilize to account for starvation.

Which turned out to be moot, because I was hypoglycemic AND dehydrated. And twitching a lot. This was the morning of the day I was supposed to take the exam.

The clinic and EMTs stuffed me full of glucose and valium, the latter of which is not surprisingly, less than conducive to taking exams. What it did NOT do, in me at least, was put me to sleep. Still feeling like I might, in some reality, be able to sit the exam, I wandered over to Dr. Martin who strongly advised me that if I wasn't in top shape (who me?), I REALLY needed to go back to the clinic, get my medical leave, and take the exam in August. Sigh. So that's what I'll be doing this summer. Studying for biochem. Again.

So at least with that behind me, I could sleep, right?

Wrong. That was a job for ambien, which I had to go back up to the clinic to get a prescription for and down to the pharmacy, accompanied by Laila, who for some strange reason thought I shouldn't make that trip alone. FINALLY, with enough prescription sedatives in me to euthanize a rhino and David sitting in my room to make sure I was still breathing (after he supplied me with Gatorade, which I apparently needed because electrolyte imbalance is the only time the stuff doesn't taste like crayola-colored sweat), I SLEPT.

DAMN. So what I'll be doing this summer besides studying for biochem again (dammit dammit dammit dammit) is figuring out what exactly the hell happened, and fixing it.

One interesting thing about Ambien (at least with me) is that it makes you feel like absolute HELL the next day, and I needed it both Monday night AND Tuesday night (before the histo exam). Tuesday night, I was treated to DREAMS about histology, which is not fun when you're trying to get a brief respite from school. Particularly when the dream is that you're trying to cross the street and blood cells keep nearly running you over.

Which makes me proud because earlier 'today' (Wednesday), I walked into that histology exam nauseated, still short-slept (but slept), still low on calories, and dulled from the Ambien, and STILL managed to keep my overall grade borderline A/B. I figured out that if St. Paparo throws out just FOUR questions, I get to keep my A, and if he doesn't, I still frigging passed.

This was followed the by celebratory gobbling of the Glover's cheese fries with Grr and David as my stomach remembered that I'm actually capable of consuming food that isn't consistant of crackers and digestive biscuits.

So this probably seems like completely personal information that I probably shouldn't be sharing with the internet at large and will probably one day cost me a good residency and provide amusement to those who hate me, but it's nice to know for potential or current students that things can suck a LOT and you can still get through it, even if it means taking an exam late.

It also is a good testament to friends who, despite their own issues including facing the same exams that I was, took care of me in my dumbass panic attacks and overall were exceptionally awesome through this entire thing. Thank you to all of you. As Morbo says, may death come swiftly to your enemies.

So not a funny entry, and a pretty personal one, but there ya have it, and there ya have why I haven't updated.

To anatomy and beyond!

Well, that's one "A", at least...

So I passed Clinical Skills of the online final exam.

Now if only all my other exams were online exams that asked questions like:

"A patient comes in complaining of chest pain. Should you:

a. Kick him in the stomach and say "Ha ha!! Bet your chest doesn't hurt so much now, Nancyboy!!"
b. Tell him he deserves to have chest pain because he's such a hairy lardo.
c. Confide in him the gnarly details of your last patient's drippy STD, complete with powerpoint presentation.
d. Tell him about how your harpy of an ex-wife is trying to get into your wallet, and then make a few racist jokes.
e. Encourage him to tell you more about his pain."

Hmm... it's "a", right? It's always "a"! Or maybe it's always "c". Aiiieeee! I'm so conflicted!

Some of the questions were difficult, but difficult in a stupid way, like whether something inherently obvious falls under "being nice" or "the quality of niceness" or some other frigging thing. Basically, what I got from Medical Ethics is the same thing I got from watching Bill and Ted: "Be excellent to each other." Thank you, Dr. Keanu Reeves. You have officially trumped Aristotle.

Am I going to hell for this post? Oh yes... oh yes.. and I'm probably violating somebody's ethical principles. Which is why I like my ethical principles which state that as long as you're being humorous, no one is allowed to get mad at you. Thus I present the following scenario:

A patient comes to you with chest pain. The proper response is "c":

Say:
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Little old lady"
"Little old lady, who?"
"I didn't know you could yodel!!!"

hyuk hyuk hyuk. Yes, a joke so bad, it could kill six kittens.

Well, back to biochem, which is actually graded, not pass/fail, and DOES have a greater opportunity to get up into my grill. Later!

Who's Yo Daddy?

Er... mommy, rather...

Did I mention I go faux urban when I'm tired?

But it's a good tired.

Today's rundown, and I know this means nothing to most of you, and I don't care, because dammit, I'm proud of myself. The following are the things I have COMPLETED today:

Histology: Female Reproductive System. Good freaking gods, we have too much going on down there! Onto the male reproductive system, which should be subtitled "This wouldn't be so damn difficult if you wouldn't give a different name to every MILLIMETER of sperm-duct"
Embryology: (we have a class called "embryology?") Placenta/Fetal Membranes
Anatomy: Two hours of videos: Deep Neck, Infratemporal Fossa, Pterygopalatine Fossa/Nasal Cavities/Nasal Sinuses/Larynx (GOOD video), Orbit
Biochemistry: Hemostasis, Eicosanoids, Cell Membranes.

For reference, that is a LOT of stuff. That is like "Go to Spiceland Mall, grab some supplies, and work from 1 PM until NOW (midnight) kinda stuff. Freaking hell!

Flipped again...

If it's not Manlocks, it's something else...

I don't like cytochrome P450, despite it's grooviness in ethanol metabolism, because it smacks too much of chemistry, talking about oxygen electron transfers, which is confusing to me, despite the fact that determining the differences in levels of conjugated versus unconjugated biliruben was just something I found to kick ass and didn't send up my "chemistry danger!!!" alarms.

So what does my brain do as I try to study it? Wanders off. Now, gloriously etched in my notebook, I have the adventures of SuperOxide.. namely, a free radical in a cape and underwear. I'm not sure how I got an O2 ion with an extra electron INTO a cape and underwear, but I'm talented like that.

Somehow, Superoxide ends up taking on a hero role, despite his tendency to rip into our genetic material like a fat kid after cookies. In other words, "Here, I'll break... Your DNA!!" all done in a singsongy voice.

So what to do when you have free radicals without a cause running rampant through your cytosol? Why you SCAVENGE them of course! Depicted as a giant superoxide dismutase vulture swooping down on the frightened hero, who naturally has a "Ruh roh!" exclamation bubble.

This scavenging leads to the production of hydrogen peroxide... which still sucks, as depicted by a picture of a crying liver with eyes. But at least we can use catalase (drawn, obviously, as a cat) to attack it... unless of course we have Renee Zellweger syndrome, which means our peroxidases are screwed, and we get into cat fights (catalase fights?) with Catherine Zeta Jones in movies based on popular Broadway musicals.

So yeah, my brain is fried. And after reading all that nonsense, yours probably is too.

The air conditioning is broken in the wet lab, speaking of fried brains, and boy howdy is that starting to smell stellar. Not surprisingly, dead bodies aren't ALL that nasally pleasant to begin with and when you warm them in the sweet salty Caribbean air, the aroma is made all that much worse. Vicks anyone? However, wet lab today WAS probably the most productive one all term because, realizing that there were a ton of hot, anxious, pissy students fighting for room around the demonstrators to get some last hopes for the final, our benevolent professors set up a camera and a single demonstrator and broadcast it to the tvs in the lab, doing an overview of structures they could tag for the exam. Love you guys, seriously.

Four lectures today, which is usually brutal, but today's were really interesting, including biochem, where we're doing a lot of nutritional evaluations and getting to look at the horrible multitude of complications that hit when you starve yourself. We also learned that "kwarshiorker" is how you say "The disease the older child gets when the new baby comes" in Twi (Ghana language). Talk about having a word for everything! I think the Germans have finally been beaten!

Some of you may be wondering whatever happened to poor Manlocks, by the way... Unfortunately, since I haven't picked up a histology textbook, oh... since midterms, this has left Manlocks with little to do except traipse around the pharynx and larynx wondering just how many freaking branches the vagus nerve could possibly have (a lot). It's a jungle in there!

It's Franken-STEEN

David was a VERY good boy by having his laptop, on the wireless connection, in class, because the powers that be of the Surgery Club announced a suture clinic that had limited space (though since it was limited to members, not TOO crowded), and he hooked me up with a spot by emailing on the double so I got to spend two hours of this evening practicing on ropes with various professional ways of making square knots and THEN, cadaver stitching! It's like sewing, but talking about it in polite company isn't considered to be socially acceptable, and hopefully, there aren't any cats playing with your yarn.

What did I discover? On the practice ropes, I am smokin'... which apparently means that if I don't pass biochemistry, I can make a STELLAR living selling friendship bracelets by the side of a freeway.

Stitching up cadavers? Not so hot... gotta practice if I'm ever going to make it to that surgical residency I'm shooting for, though since I like orthopedics, any discipline that involves power tools can't want your stitches TOO neat... right? Right??? Those needles are little!

But I'll get it! Laila and David are regular pros.

I'd make this entry longer, funnier, and full of pictures, however, I've been lead astray by Sarah, who peer pressured me into abandoning studying to dive tomorrow in the guise of an email saying that Phil told her to ask me if I wanted to dive the Atlantic side of the island tomorrow.

This may not SEEM like peer pressure until you realize that I've never dived the Atlantic side, it's for advanced divers only (thus stroking my enormous ego), and exposure to currents means we may get sharks (the more benign ones, Jaws fans). When I called Phil and he confirmed we'd be diving "Shark Reef" with a try for a dive on the Hema (a wreck), I was completely sold.

I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that I am now completely down with hemoglobin, having gotten my omitted lecture note page the long way by reading it (with the rest of the information) out of the Lippincott Bible. I've re-discovered that the long way of reading the relevant information out of Lippincott, and THEN recopying the lecture notes cements things pretty well.

So does learning about things I've seen disguised as episodes of House. Wilson's Disease, baby!!! Who could forget a disorder that was not ONLY figured out by Hugh Laurie, but (in real life!) gives you copper rings in your eyes? That's pretty cool!

I'm also down with problems in heme synthesis (porphyrias) because they have a historical precedent for the creation of vampire/werewolf myths, and I'm a history nerd.

So that only leaves extracellular matrix, special liver functions, vitamins/cofactors, eicosanoids, and hemostasis to re-cover before Monday before they CONTINUE to throw new material at us because they're... ya know, evil. Hey, it could happen!

I'm also playing catch up in anatomy because there's still a lot I don't know and resting on your laurels tends to bring trouble. As noted, the ear is still a great mystery, summed up best by Eddie Izzard's: 'hmm... the ear... we'll have that cover... hearing and vomiting... yes, that should be fun'

Speaking of vomiting though, I need to go and slap a patch behind my ear to prevent just that. I hear that boat trip is *rough*.

Ima Spaz...

So... I'm afraid of biochem. Clinically and all, meaning that biochem seems to cause panic attacks in your average Ishie. And yes, I'll get to the rest of the Margarita pictures, impatient people.

I realized this today in anatomy with a biochem quiz review tacked on the end. Why?

I'm good at anatomy. By that, I don't mean that I know everything about anatomy. I just like it and understand it. But when we were going over the ear, it has sensory innervation by about six billion cranial nerves (but there are only twelve cranial nerves, Ishie? Shut up, and appreciate hyperbole). My reaction to that plus the 7 bones that form the orbit? Meh. Need to study more anatomy and keep putting it off, but the fact that all I know about the ear is that there are three bones and a membrane in it doesn't bother me.

Then, we started going through the biochem quiz. I had forgotten some of the causes of orotic acid in the urine, so instead of getting UTP synthase, which ALSO causes orotic acid in the urine, which I knew, as well as knowing that it's a gene with two enzymes on it, I start getting panicked because I forgot about the buildup of ornithine transcarbamoylase or whatever it's called (fortunately the test is multiple choice) despite knowing exactly what the enzyme does, that it's in the liver mitochondria, and what its position is in the urea cycle.

Why, when I know ALMOST everything relating to a question in biochem but still get it wrong, does it induce panic, but having to use Wikipedia on an anatomy quiz because I haven't studied embryo since midterms make me think I simply need to revisit the topic?

Easy answer: the title of this post!

I'm a Hypocrite...

Partygoers laughing into the night? Destroy them all.

Lone saxophone player wailing away into the solitude of the darkness at 1 in the morning? Awesome.

The moral of the story is that if you're going to be loud in the wee hours, do it with style.

So, I think I'm losing my mind... Not only have I been a bit manic depressive over the last few days in a funk between awesome med school-ness and "Frigging hell what have I gotten myself into-"ness, but after skipping today's sole anatomy lecture to go to the pharmacy, the two embryo lectures that followed were EXCRUCIATING. Gods. I don't know how you can show a hypertrophied clitoris and a bifid penis and have it be more boring than watching flies do the nasty, but somehow...

That part doesn't mark me as crazy. What does? The biochem lecture that followed, much to the dread of all of us who were getting acquainted with the inside of our eyelids during embryo? Freaking awesome. I'm down with DNA sequencing, bitches!

To recap: embryonic development of the genitals complete with the pictures of what can go wrong? Gawdawful.

Biochem? Fascinating.

Yup, it's Rock Fever all right. Gonna have to put her down.

I REALLY want to like our new biochem professor, but I keep hearing horrific rumors that his tests are evil. Wouldst thou break my heart, oh interesting biochem professor? Say it ain't so!

So what's the best cure for Rock Fever that's G-rated? Getting off the Rock! Easter's coming, which means, for me, four days sans classes, and some length of time ditching out and going, hopefully to Margarita Island if accommodations can be secured. What's the allure of lounging inebriated on that island paradise rather than this one? It's not this one, and most importantly, my books won't be anywhere near it.

You see, if I stay in Grenada, that will involve staying in my dorm room with four days to have my books look accusingly at me, and remind me of all the things I *could* be getting done. This is something I find profoundly offensive. If I'm on Margarita, not only will I have new shopping opportunities, a chance to get another stamp on my passport (yes, I'm that much of a geek), and new beaches to explore, but I can't study. Not my fault, babies! Books are at home! Couldn't study if I wanted to! Guess it's time to go back to Senor Frogs!

What if I can't get to Margarita Island? ANYWHERE. Carriacou. Guyana. Trinidad. Frigging Miami. Just get me outta here!

Yeeeee-ha!!!!!!

Okay, so I'm back. If you've been wondering where I've been, I've been surfing the emotional rollercoaster that is midterms and wondering if that loop-de-loop in the middle would end in a fiery crash.

But as briefly noted before, I PASSED!!!!!!

A quick happy birthday to my dear dad before I continue, there we go, and on we go...

Sorry, I'm a little spacey; I'm extremely short slept, so this entry may be stranger than usual and end with my hitting my head on the keyboard in unconsciousness.

I believe, when we last left off, I was promising myself I wasn't going to stroke out for biochem and boy oh boy did I break that promise!!!!!!

I apparently have some sort of weird anxiety related insomnia that goes on, and needless to say, it nearly crashed and burned me in biochem, because I KNOW that stuff. I've probably dedicated 80 percent of my total study time to biochem because chemistry scares me. I felt confident, but needed review. So I was tired from my histo freak out (again, my poor poor roommate), so around 10 pm, thought, "I got this, this time. I'm going to take a unisom, go to bed, wake up nice and early with a good night's sleep, review the material, and go into that exam frigging PREPARED."

Took the second unisom at around 2:30. Took the third around 5. What did this mean? Couldn't sleep; too anxiety ridden to sleep despite being well prepared, and growing increasingly anxious about the inability to sleep, which is setting up a cycle that scares me for finals, so now everyone wants me to go to counseling to see what to do about it. Sigh.

But what else did it mean? Since I took sleeping pills, too stoned to study. Too anxious to sleep; too drugged to study. So I just stayed up and stayed up, and threw up, and took a shower, and walked around campus, and tried to focus in the library, and called my mom convinced I was going to fail. Same as histo, but worse. Harder subject, end of the week, less sleep, more conceptual information.

I go into the biochem exam... hoping, though not expecting, for it to be like histo where suddenly it floods back.

Noooooo sirreee. Or as David said while watching Rimmer fail a test on Red Dwarf "Oh my god!! It all looks like kinase!!!" Glucose 6 Phosphate; glucose 6 dehydrogenase, and because I was so TIRED, I couldn't logic things out.

I *felt*, with a few exceptions, like I essentially chimpanzeed the thing. I was concerned that I had just enough knowledge to beat probability. I nearly started sobbing in the exam, left after 45 minutes and then had to stand there while the prof fished out the notes for Monday and I'm SHAKING as I take them from him going "Don't let him see you cry; don't let him see you cry". At this stage, I figured I wasn't even going to BE there Monday. I figured I had the kind of score where they just kick you out. I was thinking it would be around a 20.

I went back to the dorm and burst into tears, Skyped my mom, who'd I'd left hanging, and cried all over her, that I wanted back to the States, didn't want to be here anymore, missed my damn dog, wished I'd never gotten myself into this, how was I going to pay my loans back when they kick me out of school and so forth...

About an HOUR later, my poor roommate came in from her test made a big fuss over me, hugged me, and all that, because she rocks, and with Dr. Paparo, is pending sainthood. Then some of my friends from the main exam room came in since I was still crying and made me feel better until they posted the results...

By. The. Freaking. Gods.

How the hell did I pass? I didn't know anything and left less than an hour in. Now, when I say "passed", I mean by the skin of my frigging teeth, but I freaking passed. I have NEVER in my LIFE been so happy for a "C", or in this case, a 69%. I was just hoping for an "F" high enough that I could drag it up with finals. Wahoo!!!!

I still hadn't slept, but I'd also barely eaten in two days, so it was like PIZZAAAA!!!!! We headed down to an Italian place near Spiceland Mall and had fun, while in the meantime, J'Leise was *ostensibly* going to Tobago to see her family. Liat airlines apparently had other plans for her, but was nice enough to fly her and all the other Trinis on campus within spitting distance of Trinidad, only to turn around and fly all the way back, pausing briefly to attempt a spiraling nosedive to impose mortal fear in everyone in the plane (seriously, tears and screaming) before returning to the airport to reward them for their bravery with mucho attitude. WTG Liat. The Caribbean's Least On Time Airline!

Back in the part of Grenada that wasn't screwing people over, we wandered over to Spiceland Mall, grabbed some groceries, and discovered that David was in possession of a nice sized bottle of rum, so we took the party to my place (where we later discovered the much annoyed J'Leise who seemed glad to have an audience to her Liat trauma).

Red Dwarf, rum, lemon sorbet, and Ting is a good combo. BTW, Rum and Ting now beats rum and Coke. Mmm mmm!

Unfortunately, party took us a bit late so I missed my first two dives Saturday, and they were doing the Bianca C! D'oh!!! They were cool about it though, and I managed to get onto the 1 PM dive for a very nice after body surfing for a couple hours while waiting for the early boat to come back.

After the dives, BEACH TIME!!!!!!! Snorkeling, sunning, eating mutton curry, getting told that I was "out of my top" at the curry place because I forgot about the no bathing suits at the table rule, thus the security guard made me feel like a tramp, then more sun and surf.

Dinner with Ashley, Nina, and David at Big Fish, which, for the record, has fajitas that actually taste like someone making them has a knowledge of Mexican food. Be advised. From what J'Leise has said, the fajitas at Glover's involve carrots... which is just wrong.

Dr. Chadwell was there and on his way out, said nice things, so good on him. Also saw the counselor there, whom I'm desperately hoping I will not have to talk to about my "anxiety problems" because I feel like such a high maintenance psuedobabble blonde twit.

So we were getting our party on, but it opened for the MPH party, which we would have stayed at but... well, let's just say the tone of approach lacked something, so much as I love my MPH brethren a lot and do NOT mind paying cover, since it was billed as a *private* party, we vamoosed. Besides, we were already halfway to hammered. Looked like fun though and some awesome, sports-equipment clad MPHers tried to convince us otherwise on the walk home. They're cool. I knew I was diving this morning though.

So MORE rum and Red Dwarf, which is just a great combo!!!! Went to bed and missed the 8 am bus. Dammit! Caught the 8:30 remembering that I was supposed to be AT Dive Grenada at 8:30, and swore, until recognizing my UK cold water compatriot on the bus, who was also cursing at being late... again.

Yes! A partner in crime! So we scuttled up as fast as possible, cutting across the construction site you're not supposed to cut across after begging permission from the workers and almost running into a goat (it happens).

We arrive, and Phil, with a gleam in his eye, says "We're going to have to buy you two a car!!!" "OKAY!" Susan and I agreed with gusto! Never make offers like that to starving students. The only question is going to be which side the steering wheel goes on.

Then Phil mentions seeing me at the bar at Big Fish.

"Which doesn't have anything to do with my being late!" I explained hastily.

With a gleam, he says "I never said that it did!"

With an answering gleam, I say "And I'm not saying that in any way connected to a guilty conscience!"

Phil is cool... which makes me feel bad that he got his octopus (spare reg) used more often this weekend than his primary. Everyone was having problems! Not with the operation, just in general. Dive 1 was Wibbles, and he said it wasn't as good as usual, but we did have a nice barracuda swim by us.

The second dive... ahhh the second dive... there are some dives where you can't just say "I saw this or that" that made it an awesome dive (though I did see a Flamingo Tongue)... it's just an awesome dive. My buoyancy and weighting were perfect, the area was pretty, the water temperature was wonderful, and I was just hovering around taking it in feeling "Ahhhhhhhh". During that dive, it was like the amalgated mass of stress sitting on me this whole weekend just leaked out my fins. Diving rules.

And then home!!! For a nap, but wanted to wish dad a happy birthday, and some people came by (Hi Nina!) so I'm headed bed bound. What morning histo lab???

One down...

Predictable title, ain't it?

To continue the trend of absolute yawning predictability, two midterms to go! Unfortunately, said two get progressively more difficult for me, with histology reminding me of the hazards of focusing all your study efforts elsewhere, and biochemistry reminding me of the hazards of ever daring to dream of becoming a doctor. Acetyl CoA Carboxylase anyone? Know it; love it; memorize 17,000 more of its enzymatic buddies.

But some of you may be wondering about the anatomy midterm. A practical this morning, in which we were subdivided into groups (350 people don't slide nicely into a gross lab, as you can imagine), and had to identify structures without any secondary type questions (essentially, arrow points at something, you say "it's that").

Not too bad. The questions were fair, with jaywalk from ValueMD (know it; love it) providing some damn good tips.

Then came the inevitable down period (after being sequestered outside the upstairs of the anatomy building until all the people from the following group were inside) in which everyone desperately tried to cram straggling bits of information into his/her brain.

Except, of course, for a select group that had already started drinking, presumably to study the anastomoses in their livers. I'm saving my cirrhosis for Friday night.

The written part of the test was pretty frigging hard with not just secondary questions but quantiary and googleplex type questions. If you don't know one link in the chain (winging scapula caused by paralysis of serratus anterior which is innervated by the long thoracic nerve which comes off the five roots of the brachial plexus), you're screwed.

Also fun are those questions where you cover up the answers, read the question, feel confidant in an answer, lift your hand to reveal the choices, and your answer isn't there. Never a good feeling.

But I passed I passed I passed! Even got a high pass, meaning that sinking horrible feeling I got around question 80, when I was essentially doing the Macarena to try and situate my body planes correctly and spent seven minutes drawing vertebral bodies in an effort to figure things out, was misplaced. And freaking WHEW for that.

So back to histo. Manlocks is bored right now, because I'm reviewing intercellular structures, which doesn't give him a whole lot to do, so he's sitting on a centriole (the microtubules massage his butt, like a barcalounger), periodically grabbing passing organelles out of the cytosol and licking them to see if they'll get him high. Some mixed results with a Golgi vesicle but otherwise, no dice. Poor poor lazy hallucinogen-addicted Manlocks.

Addendum

First of all, what is up with ADVERTISING inexplicable midnight BBQ for the first time, and then for the first time, not having it?? I've been craving ribs for a week, as were the other dorm-incarcerated that were wandering out into the night, blinking at the odd scenery.

Second of all, during my described expedition to Spiceland Mall, among my other groceries I grabbed some microwave pizzas despite their being hellishly expensive because I figured "It's midterms; what the hell".

The problem with eating healthy foods (voluntarily or not) and working out and all that, is when you indulge yourself in crap food, you end up feeling like hell. Gurgle glop from my stomach and I feel overstuffed and bloated just from one half sized two to a carton pizza, despite being able to down a giant bowl of my leftovers salad.

Since I haven't had American fast food since I got to the island (haven't gotten to the KFC or the Subway since I got here, and those are the ONLY two fast food chains (American, at least) on the island), if I indulge in McDonalds when I get back, it'll probably kill me. Sigh.

Did you know there's no glycerol kinase in adipocytes? I didn't. Now I know. Only five million other little factoids to memorize for biochem to have a remote chance of passing.

Laundry Day!

So... I haven't left campus in about two weeks due to that looming midterms thing.

I suffered two quandaries today--three if you count the silent panic attack I had during the biochem review in which one particular instructor should have said "Essentially... what you want to do is memorize my lecture notes... yes, every word. All 700 pages of them. Excellent. Oh, but I've thrown a couple cases in from that giganto overcomplicated no-one-ever-uses it, tried reading it the first week and said "holy freaking shit" textbook, so have fun poring through it for five hours in an effort to award yourselves the three points it'll leave ya.

Oh, and on that note, as an addendum to the post where I told people that were shouting outside at four in the morning to shut the hell up (not that it matters now, since I've been studying until then), since this is not high school, they don't take attendance for lecture, certainly not for review sessions, and the truant officer isn't going to track you down, IF you are going to a review session the Friday before midterms, kindly shut the hell up.

It isn't fair, really... with the level of stress we are all under, one should not have to take the *additional* step of quenching unnaturally homicidal rage toward minor distractions and talking loudly while the instructor tells you what's going to be on the test is not "minor".

But I was talking about my other quandaries. Quandary Numero Uno. Ishie needs food. As I awoke this early afternoon (having studied until 5:30 in the morning), I thought "Hmmm... chickpeas again? While I like chickpeas, eating them like cereal seems excessive."

I also was in danger a couple days ago of having all my veggies go bad, so I tossed them into a mega salad. The funny thing here is that when you get pressed for time and the student store isn't well stocked, instead of doing the normal college thing and living off top ramen, potato chips, and canned soup, THOSE are the things that require a trip to the store. Yet, produce guy comes three times a week so my new college experience is "What to do? I have nothing to eat except lettuce, papayas, cucumbers, and christophene..."

But yeah, I was out of everything. Out of soap, out of milk, out of cheese, out of margarine, on the low side on chickpeas... more importantly, I needed to hit the stationery store to purchase a large size sketchpad so I could express my blossoming artistic side by making color coded charts of the metabolic pathways. Picasso, eat your heart out. Van Gogh, eat your ear off.

I bussed it to Spiceland Mall and was actually to secure everything I needed except for cumin, which I've been hunting down for a month. Spice island, my ass. And yes, I know they have it at the Saturday market downtown, and if I had that kind of time, I'd be at Club Med rather than Med School.

Quandary Numero Dos. As I came back from working out (I've been surprisingly good about that due to having to make appointments for the cardio machines), I stripped off my sweaty exercise clothes, looked in my giant wooden locker (first termers know what I mean) and went "Uhhh..."

So another break had to be taken from studying to put on my least corpse-y set of scrub pants and a tank top with a broken strap to drag all of my belongings down to the laundry room to either be washed or burned. Ewww. One more day and I'd have not only been wandering around in my wetsuit, but I'd have had to chase down my dirty clothes and beat them into submission with a stick, which would have taken a lot of time away from studying...

But back to it. Gluconeogenesis awaits. Sadly, Manlocks isn't touching that one.

Last night was mundo anatomy night where I caught up EVERYTHING in anatomy (what's that embryology shaped wave heading toward me? Ignore it; it'll go away). Manlocks was all OVER the place!!! He discovered that picking up the Bundle of His (leaving something of equal weight in its place for the old Indiana Jones switcharoonie) gave him an extra life so he may be ready to brave the stomach, or, since I'm doing metabolic pathways tonight, the liver. Hepatocytes ho!!!

The problem with ditching lecture...

Sometimes you end up pre-reading a lecture because you figure it was one you missed.

I was reading the lecture on the "Functional Anatomy of the Abdomen" thinking "You know... this is actually a really good lecture. It's a shame I missed it.

Then I note that we have anatomy lecture tomorrow (later today) and think "Review session?"

Functional Anatomy of the Abdomen. That was an hour well-spent. Ah well, at least now I can go to the lecture well prepared.

I'm also discovering that even with awesome instructor dude, it's somewhat useless for me to go to biochem unless I've preread, because otherwise I just sit there with a growing look of horror and consternation on my face until I scuttle back to my room in a panic, read Lippincott and go "oh".

Today, Saint Paparo began the review histo lecture with "I have a dream..." and proceeded to rattle off Very Important Histology Facts which I suspect will have a Very Strong Influence on the Midterm. The suspiciously full class took frantic notes catching all of it, except for the smart people (of which I was not one) who taped it.

There were still some empty seats in the hall, so for those of you who missed that lecture, oh my GOD does it suck to be you!!!

After that came the multitude of practice identification slides. Ruh roh. Then the practice practical (name the slide) in which I discovered that Manlocks and I need to go right back down to the bowels and work our way through and up SLOWLY, including, instead of sneaking PAST the Crypts of Lieberkuhn, we need to go right down in there with those darned vampires and check out the paneth cells for ourselves. Tsk tsk. Manlocks is in luck in that I can readily identify the rectoanal junction, meaning he never has to set foot there again.

And then... more studying!! Histo was supposed to be on the bill, but I got sidetracked by anatomy, which is probably fortunate since that's the exam we have first.

Right at the point my brain was going back to that liquid state (but, I'm getting better at histo in that I'm sure I was able to identify a purkinje cell plopping onto the floor), I decided screw it, go to the gym, and did so, throwing notes and flashcards to the wind and bathing myself in sweet sweet blissful music with an upped intensity to chase the enzyme activity and innervations out of my head.

THEN I was able to study histo to start getting a better grasp on things. It's bad for Manlocks though. Now that he knows the parietal cells secrete hydrochloric acid, he's flipping terrified and won't come out of the Peyer's patches in the ileum to save his life (or sacrifice it). I've tried telling him that if he doesn't come back up to the stomach, the only way out is to go back through the Rectal Shelves of Houston, but I don't think he cares. Sigh. I hate wimpy heroes.

Glurgh

Oi, my brain... that much exposure to biochem can't be good for you.

Quick hero update: Good news!!! Despite my absence (or perhaps because of it), Manlocks has recovered from his brutal retreat to the Rectal Shelves of Houston and is at this moment hopscotching his way from Islet of Langerhans to Islet of Langerhans in noble pursuit of... I dunno... a final goal of securing lingual lipase? For the uninitiated, that puts him all the way up at the pancreas. For the REALLY uninitiated, that's near your stomach. For the really REALLY uninitiated, if you stick your finger in your bellybutton and drag it up your tummy a little bit, around there.

For those of you REALLY confused about why there's a little dude with long flowing manlocks and bulging man-biceps running around someone's GI tract (with a sidetrack off to the glands), scroll back a few posts to the "Histology Relevance" post, which celebrates the last shreds of my sanity flying out the dorm window.

Speaking of dorms, I've been locked in mine since... uh... when was my last scheduled lecture for Tuesday? 3 PM? Yeah... I've been locked in the dorm since about 2 PM. Since I think the recorded times may be a bit jacked due to still being set to Pacific Time, or Eastern Time, or Greenwich standard or whatever, for reference... frickity frick frick, it's 3:30 in the morning.

Yeah yeah, I ditched Clinical Skills again... I have a 100 in that class, which I don't believe is difficult. I would feel bad, because I actually really like the instructor that was teaching today (since he's the one that let me off with an ace bandage rather than a big bulky cast when I sprained my ankle), but midterms be midterms. It's not like I walked out mid-class or anything.

I was going to work out tonight in the gym, and honestly ended up taking my study BREAKS by doing sit-ups and push-ups in my room. I'm officially a spiderweb tattoo and a gang allegiance away from prison. View's nicer though.

On the plus side, I now really have a full appreciation and understanding of acetyl-CoA carboxylase and fatty acid synthase, as well as the glandular GI system and the blood supply of the abdominal region.

On the minus side, there's warm goo leaking out my ears, and we haven't studied the head and neck in Anatomy or histo yet, so I can't determine which portion of my brain it is or whether it's important enough to cause probbbbbbblblblblblblbbbbbllbllbllb

Get Your Study On!

So we're in the last week before midterms; the final countdown, and while I still feel woefully unprepared, at the same time, I've studied so much that I think my eyeballs are bleeding. I haven't gotten a chance to revisit Histo, so Manlocks is still on hiatus, though he does get new episodes at least more often than House, who is being CRUELLY pushed back again and again because Fox has decided to change its name to "All American Idol; All the Time". Frigging insipid show.

In biochem though, I'm finally cracking the mysteries of the Pentose Phosphate Pathway. Apparently, it's to produce NADPH for fatty acid synthesis. Couldn't have let you guys go your whole lives without knowing that, right? Hooray. But at least the burden of knowing NOTHING about it is off my shoulders. Now ask me about the enzymes in the pathway... uh oh! Back to studying.

So... this video has been circulating around campus, and though we don't have the bitchin' ice rink, it's a pretty accurate representation of first year medical school. You're just lucky I posted this instead of the House and Wilson clips synthed to the theme song from Pinky and the Brain. That's next week.

And yes, I'm a Netter slaaaaave.