Mar 22, 2007

The Ring Goes Where?

There have been some experiments where they (the ubiquitous 'they') flash words on a screen in front of people and have those people say the words aloud. These experiments revealed that when curse words are flashed on the screen, most people have a longer pause before saying the word that's in front of them than they do when looking at a normal word.

A similar reaction seems to occur when, in your "Functional Anatomy of the Pelvis" lecture, the instructor flashes a clitoris ring (sans clitoris) slide up on the projector and asks the class to identify it.

Such a long pause that followed as we all tried to wrap our minds around something else it might be. Of course, then we got the slide no longer sans clitoris and a hilariously clinical follow up of what could happen with genital jewelry for both men and women. Damn those Prince Alberts...

Boy howdy, was that a fun lecture!!!

This lecture also included the phenomena of the 'broken penis', which the instructor described as happening often in the woman-on-top position that occurred while the woman was, his words, "in orbit". Oh dear. Laughter quickly gave way to every man in the room doing a silent (or not so silent) scream as we saw the pictures of penile avulsions (choose between getting 'degloved' by an industrial accident or an animal bite; we got to see both) and of course, the classic Bobbitt, which becomes oh so much more gruesome when you can actually identify the three erectile tissues in the remaining... stub.

I'd send Manlocks down there to investigate but he's too busy turning white, vomiting, and clutching himself in sympathy pain.

I personally think the avulsions looked worse (it's your freaking skin, people!), but the relative volume of the expressed male horror was greater with the flat-out slice-off, so I suppose I was vetoed. What's the message? Never go to bed angry. You just thought it was good marital advice.

Somehow the women got off lightly in only seeing drawn depictions of tearing and episiotomies (and that horrific clitoris ring, which at least seemed to be attached to a healthy female), but even that's enough to make me a little queasy. No L&D for me! What is it that makes us so protective of our nether regions? I can watch a bowel resection video while eating sausages.

What added to the humor was, during the break, overhearing a conversation between some guys that essentially went:

Guy 1: "Man, I've been so tired lately. I just couldn't stay awake during lecture!"
Guy 2: "What??? How in the hell could you sleep through THAT lecture??"

The other classes just can't compete!

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