Nov 10, 2007

Relevant Information?

In Neuro, we have a list of the Levels of Unconsciousness, which differentiates between lethargic, obtunded, stuporous, and comatose. While this is interesting (as neuro has been now that it's taken a hard turn away from the tracts of the body, which is slightly less interesting than reading a road atlas), I fear it does not have the same relevance to medical students as it should. So I present the Second Term Medical Student "Levels of Unconsciousness":

Neuroscience: Patient can be fully aroused, but would be easier to arouse if lecture were not typically at 8 in the morning

Renal Physiology: Patient cannot be fully aroused. Though visiting professor's use of vaguely dirty words, or himself as a clinical example, may raise consciousness level.

Endocrine Physiology: Sleep-like status, not aided by the fact that professor is eradicating his own character tics in the interest of being a better public speaker. Counting 'Uh's (George Bush Sr.) or 'Okay?'s (prof) keeps people awake!

Immunology: No purposeful response (normally due to either a lack of patient's presence in lecture, or patient's subsequent suicide after attending a lecture)

Addendum/Edit: it has been brought to my attention that the correct term would be "rouse", not "arouse", which means something entirely different, but may net me more blog hits. Since the "arousing" parts are cribbed directly from my lecture notes, I think I'm going to leave them as an homage to grammar/usage. And it's still loads better than the GI physiology lectures were.

Addendum/Edit Jr: Jogging in Grenada earlier made me ask a question I never thought I would have to ask: If given no other option than to pass far closer to a cow than you would like to, which end of the cow is the most dangerous? As a follow up question, when choosing which bovine is going to be the safest bet for the above question, do you run closer to the bull itself, or do you run closer to the cows, which may make the bull think you're trying to get up on his women? Because having to take a leave of absence due to being EITHER kicked or gored would probably emphasize the wrong aspects of this medical school to a residency committee.

1 comment:

Mike said...

Avoid the bulls. Run closer to the cows. In fact, you can run amongst the cows, they won't do anything other than walk away from you. The cows wont kick or bite so either end is fairly safe, just don't scare them into running.

You'll never see cow fights.

-Airor