So yes, two blogs right in a row, because after that last long self-indulgent drivel (two actually, but the first one was simply bizarre), I did what any girl does logically packed away on a Caribbean island... called my dad.
Who listened to the same sort of "where am I; did I study this much last term; disconnect", etc, and said something to the effect of: "Why are you wasting this much time and stress on questions you can't possibly know the answer to?" That's a complete paraphrase, but it was succinct and to that effect...
You know that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where 2-D God yells "Get On With It!" and everything kind of stops, and then proceeds normally. It was one of those moments. One of those needle sliding across a record player moments.
This term, I've been so busy focused on attempting to determine WHERE I am and if I'm studying the right stuff, that it takes time away from studying AND recreating and does nothing but stress me out for the sake of stressing me out. Hence the title... a big bullshit knife cutting right through.
Now, if only someone could play a recording of that repeatedly. And when I think about it, everything I continually stress over tends toward that end. DO I know enough for midterms. No one knows. Do I use my study time effectively enough? Do I get out enough? Dumb questions with no answers, and I have entirely too much else to do to waste my time with "trolley problems", as they're called. That refers to impossible situations with no right answer designed to make people think in a philosophical manner (a trolley is speeding out of control, you have to decide which track it'll go on and on one track is a busload of orphaned children and on the other track is the guy that'll cure cancer). And I have little time for philosophy.
Oct 1, 2007
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