Feb 21, 2008

I've been operant conditioned!

I'd already been classically conditioned in that I salivate every time I hear a bell. Pavlov fans? No?

Okay, how about this Freud one? I was in small group on Tuesday and we'd finished discussing our actual case and went onto discussing a case brought up in class where a woman under a sedative had chirped up for breast implants to be added to her surgery schedule, which inexplicably was obeyed, bringing the question of who was at fault in the inevitable follow-up lawsuit, and one of our wittier group members chimed in with "Her id did it."

(crickets chirping)

Okay, forget you guys... the point of this particular entry is that one of our trickier behavioral science professors (Hi Dr. Y!) successfully operant conditioned me into getting up at 7 am to go to lecture, which is notable because at 7 am, I am usually resting up after spending the nighttime hours marauding for the blood of the innocent. In med school, this is naturally difficult to find.

Though it's probably what my apartment complex thinks is true. Due to my nocturnal tendencies, I have a black sheet taped over my window to prevent any hints of daylight from intruding on me while periodically transferring all my bedding between my sofa and bed depending on what mood my insomnia is in, both of which are habits that are a source of eternal confusion to my housekeeper. Combined with my occasional tendency to pace around the complex at night especially when it's raining, I think everyone here keeps a clove of garlic close at hand when I'm around. Unfortunately, I'm a vampire that's a fan of Italian food.

I think it also perplexes my housekeeper that since I never had a housekeeper before I came to Grenada, and the idea of someone else having to deal with my state of perpetual disarray seems unfair, so if she's unlucky enough to have to clean when I'm home, I'm nervously picking stuff up and moving stuff and apologizing for being a terrible person.

So essentially, she's protectively turned into a ninja. I venture out of the apartment to slink off to small group, whether it's the right day or the right time of day for her normal schedule, she throws up a smokescreen, uses mop to quarterstaff Bruce Lee action, and leaves no sign of her presence upon my return but a suspicious shine, clean dishes, and the scent of bleach.

But I was talking about lecture... and yes, it was pretty cool, and I was glad I went. Plus, apparently I managed to hold out for this long just to be back in time for... the sex lectures! Sweet. Though I missed the controversial pictures during the alcohol lectures yesterday... I'm just primarily hoping I'm not *in* any of them. The wine bar is a harsh mistress.

It was weird to be done with the primaries for 4 lectures by noon, so I kept thinking it was time to *start* studying, but I'd already seen 4 lectures. Live and uncut! Plus I got to chat with Dr. Y in the path lab for a while, which was awesome (and convinced me to do the hash on Saturday), and due to the uncharacteristic before-noon productivity, I could go out and see the eclipse tonight guilt-free, having cleared out my work for the day and leaving me a pretty manageable schedule for tomorrow, so I don't even feel nighttime panic over the exam Friday. Is this how normal day-people function? Of course, it's 3:24 am when I'm typing this, so I'm thinking I may need a few more shocks from the Skinner box before I learn to stop pressing the lever. It is depressing that rats learn faster than I do (though not surprising), but again, a solid testament to the power of a professor with a goal. Combined with the promise of free highlighters, this may be the most successful lecture attendance strategy since Dr. H's first term "Slideshow of complications of genital trauma" (also not one to miss, though one to skip breakfast for).

Oh, though L'il Grr? I'm calling *you* out. You cannot make relentless fun of me for six months for absenteeism and then sleep through ethics! That so does *not* constitute "going to lecture", and I will be teasing you unmercifully throughout the weekend.


Anonymous said...

calling me out are we? hey, bring it on! i can take it!

and besides, just because i'm sleeping doesn't mean i'm not learning! ok, fine, that's exactly what it means. But hey, I only sleep through HALF of ethics, not the whole thing, so there. see? I am *soo* superior.

david santos said...

Hi, Ishie!
Thanks for your posting and have a good week.