May 12, 2008

One more day now

You know that period of studying where you know you still have studying you need to do, but at the same time, you kind of wish it were exam time just so you could be done with the whole mess?

Yup, that's where I am.

What I'm learning in path, besides everything that can go wrong with every part of your body, not that that's any pressure, is that I missed the Sesame Street that was brought to you by the letter "I", because I hate and can't remember every disease that starts with it, specifically those that involve four to five words, the first of which is either "Idiopathic" or "Interstitial". "Idiopathic" is turning into one of those apathetic agnostic things: "Don't know. Don't care."

The weird thing is that idiopathic should be my greatest friend of all, because it means I don't have to learn a buttload of tumor markers and cytokines, but it's not, because it's rarely "Idiopathic heart attack". No, it's like every Greek/Latin derived root word rammed together with "Idiopathic" in front of it. "Oh! That patient has Idiopathic interstitial pulmonary fibromyogenic diverticulosis of the anterior inferior periepicardial medial border. It's found in .005% of 90 year old Papua New Guinean genetically predisposed females somehow secondarily to eating the brains of the nephroxides rubber tree wombat. It presents with malaise and night sweats. As does every other disease that anyone has ever had."

There's a part of me that just wants to write in "TB" and "sarcoidosis" for every answer on the test, because they always screw me up by presenting with a slew of seemingly unrelated symptoms that could easily be confused with absolutely everything else. And your clinical case will be a homeless alcoholic smoker, which means they have EVERYthing. Usually simultaneously.

So to pass the time, instead, I end up developing geeky drinking games with my study partners. I get a beer for Pseudomonas. Kwesi gets a beer for lap scores, and Christine gets a beer for Hodgkin's lymphoma, and possibly for blueberry muffin babies (don't ask). I'd say chug every time you see the word "idiopathic", but then we'd all have alcohol poisoning, aspirate Klebsiella and drown in a sea of our own mucus. You see what I'm dealing with over here?

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