Dec 15, 2011

You want me to tell what to whom?

"I bivalved the uterus. The endometrium looks normal."

"All right, let me come see. Okay, you're calling the OR."

"... what?"

"Call them and tell them."

(Deep breath) "Okay." (picks up phone)

"Wait! What are you going to say?"

"Uhhh... I... this is pathology."

"Do you have a name?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a degree?"

"Yes."

"So use it! Women, we always do this. You're DOCTOR Sancho and you have his results. Now what are you going to say?"

"Um... this is Dr. Sancho from pathology. The... uterus..."

"I examined the corpus and..."

"The endometrium appears benign. There are no polyps or lesions visible."

"Okay."

(Picks up phone) "Hello! This is Dr. Sancho from pathology. I examined the uterine corpus and the endometrium appears benign."

"Oh! This is his nurse. I'll put you on with Dr. ScarySurgeon."

"Hello? This is Dr. ScarySurgeon. You're on speakerphone."

"Meep."

Meanwhile:

Accessioner: "Ooh, that's Dr. ScarySurgeon? Tell him to call ahead on his frozens. I can't, but you can."
Ishie: "I'm a first year. He'll beat me up and take my lunch money."
Accessioner: "You have lunch money?"
Ishie: Dammit.

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