Apr 12, 2012

Attempting to be Southern...

Attending: I'm not going to tell you anything about this patient's history; I'm just going to show you the slide. Tell me what you're seeing.

Me: Sickle cell patient

Attending: What cells are you seeing?

Me: Uh... target cells, fragments, reticulocytes, lots of polychromatic forms, SICKLE CELLS

Attending: What cells are these? (points at sickled cells)

Me: Sickle cells

Colleague: Elliptocytes?

Attending: No, not quite elliptocytes. These are sickle cells.

Me: ...

Attending, to me: See right here, this group? (points with scope arrow), they don't look like typical sickle cells, but that's what they are.

Me, flatly: I know.


Me: I mean, yes sir.

Surprisingly, the conversation went perfectly normally after that even as my brain was screaming "I SAID SICKLE CELL LIKE FOUR TIMESSSSS IT'S THE ONLY THING I KNOW ASIDE FROM PROSTATE. ACKNOWLEDGE MY GREATNESSSSSS AAAAHHHHH must have theee PREEECCCCIIIOOUUUSSS"

Yeah, I say sir and ma'am now. I pick up strange idiosyncrasies but without the accent or upbringing to back it up. One of my attendings may well be called "Dr. Bless his heart" because he's so damn nice to everyone all the time. "Bless his heart" is a phrase I *NEVER* used before I moved here, and certainly not said in its original intention, but today, while talking to my mom on the phone, I uttered "And Dr. C, bless his heart, actually ordered in bagels from New York for us."

I blame my former roommate for my calling people "doll", "dollface", "baby", and "babycakes" though. People may think I picked them up here, but they were instilled by an exuberant roommate and a lot of burlesque announcers in New York.

The sir thing is weird though. I've never been a sir person, but now it's just part of how I talk to my attendings. "No sir, I'm pulling the patient's history up right now, I apologize for that sir". Every time I do it, in my head, I sound like Bill from True Blood, which eventually means that by the end of my residency, I'm going to have the voice and accent down. Ishie! Did you check the trends on this guy's urine proteins? Sir, I must regret to inform you that those files remain untouched by my hands. Now, if you'll excuse me, sir, I will escort Miss Stackhouse out of the hospital before she surely incites trouble in these halls. Where is that girl... SOOKIE.

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