Jan 28, 2012

Wow, that was dark

See title. Goodness.

So, sorry about that last one folks. I contemplated deleting it and as I said at the intro to that post, didn't even initially post it, but then left it for the sake of honesty and completeness I suppose?

I asked my mom for her opinion, and it was like, med school/residency is the ups and downs, which is a point for leaving it up. Then I'm like, this is a very specific situation for which it's hard to imagine anyone looking for advice. Grenada's rock fever with study darkness with fulminant breakdown? Sure. That's at least half the student body and everyone that has a medical school related meltdown feels like they're alone in it and everyone else is succeeding. Same with residency. Normal stuff. We laugh about it now at work because we were all in various stages of it without knowing the others were suffering it. Doctors seem to be bred with a specific blend of arrogance and self doubt that starts a spiral of "I'm smart and med school/residency shouldn't be hard. I am struggling. Therefore, I am stupid and everyone around me is smart and ohmigod."

This peculiar blend of impotent rage I feel intermittently in this really specific situation? Not so much relatable. At least I hope not.

But enough of that. Tonight was really really good. We had a mini spontaneous surgical pathology girls' night bitch-a-thon, and it was a bunch of fun with great people that did, I admit, involve some poking fun of surgeons. Lighthearted, I assure you. My mom sent me a hard drive that I got today that has all of my diving pictures and California pictures and the like salvaged so I did not lose those, and that was really incredible. The response of you guys, as I've mentioned, has been fabulous, and it helps me quite a bit. Surgical pathology ends in three working days (but who's counting) and I'm pretty excited about it. While being the bread and butter stuff, it's really work intensive, so it'll be great to have a break working more normal hours. I am getting a lot more of the diagnoses and have a general idea of logic and workflow, which I've mentioned before.

Good stuff. I'm planning a trend of increasingly positive blog posts to follow, but right now, I'm crazy tired. Night all.

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