I think of these events as unique moments that resonate with me specifically and have a simple and precise meaning that I have never experienced before and that others couldn't possibly understand. Perhaps, because I believe that I'm still in high school. Fortunately, there are previous blog entries to remind me (yes, I'm one of those people that occasionally reads her own blog) that I am not unique, this is not unique, and I am going through the exact same cycle of emotions that I do with the onset of any new type of change, and the gradual sinking gut-sick is the exact same level of intestinal ambivalence that it was when I experienced it for my biochem retake. Or when my parents first caught me in a lie.
New York, how I've loved you. I love your people; I love your constant circus, I love the everloving hell out of your food and nightlife; I love my time here. During my stay, I got to live in a place I loved, do largely what I liked, and have the best frigging roommate anyone could want. Having been here for two years now, I even love being all exasperated and snooty about slow-walking tourists.
Grenada, you and I had our fights and our differences. I did threaten to ram inanimate objects in animate humans on multiple occasions and for multiple reasons during my stay in your lush arms, but how much hate can there be when finding a bottle of Ting or Carib in the states sparks a holy grail. And when Grenada Chocolate came to Whole Foods, I thought we were going to launch the Grenada reunion tour right there in the middle of Union Square. I have to love your turtles and your beaches, your hashes and visibly drunk bus drivers.
So now I'm off soon to heart Charleston. Soon. With, predictably, a spurious game plan that requires a lot of begging and luck. And then my four year venture of medical school will be over, and we can only hope that the title of this blog will be "A Caribbean MD WAS good enough for me." Then it's all resident stuff. Orders and charts and such. Deep manly doctor coughs.
And, like any other time that any change affects my life, I get embroiled in nostalgia and other useless things. Tomorrow is my last day at Other-Job. I have an awesome boss. I do a lot of stuff I like. I have decent autonomy. I like my coworkers. But it has to end. Graduation is on Saturday and a new crop will come in to replace the ones that defected. Do I want to stay? I want to start residency. With all the new challenges that faces.
But I'll do it. I feel, if meekly, ready to take on the world.